What do I do if there are girls posting flirtatious love wall posts on my boyfriend's page and he is flirting back? But he doesn't consider it flirting!!
The first thing you need to do is talk to him about this. Face-to-face is ideal, but webcam or phone is just as good if face-to-face isn't possible. Without getting worked up or overly emotional about this try to talk to him calmly. Guys shut down at the first sign of female emotion and therefore if you get whiny or emotional he will not listen to you at all. So try and keep a normal tone of voice and a collected demeanor if at all possible.
This is a legitimate concern. Don't let him convince you that it isn't and don't bottle up your feelings. A relationship can only work if both parties are open and honest with each other, but also considerate of each other's feelings. Right now he seems really insensitive to the fact that this bothers you. And honestly, that's a SERIOUS problem.
Another thing you need to think about is your own confidence and security in your relationship. If you are feeling jealous maybe you need to ask yourself if this relationship is good for you. Excessive jealousy or worry implies lack of trust. Maybe this is something you never thought about before because you've never been trusting of your boyfriends. I know that was almost always a problem for me.
In the past I would always get jealous over anything, even though I told myself I wasn't jealous at all. Some people say things like "I don't get jealous cus I don't trust him, I get jealous cus I don't trust those other women!" I used to say this to. But you see, if your boyfriend was really that trustworthy you wouldn't have to worry about those other women either.
I didn't realize this was possible until I was in a relationship where I trusted the person I was with completely to never cheat on me. If someone approached him I wouldn't even flinch because I knew she wasn't a threat to me. I was confident enough in him and our relationship to believe wholeheartedly that he would not betray me.
More importantly, I had become confident enough in myself to know that I deserved to be treated with respect and dignity and I believed that he knew that too. And if it turned out that he DIDN'T know that and he DID betray me, I would be strong enough to stand up for myself and let him know he was wrong.
So I guess, what I want to ask YOU is; do you trust this person? Do you have faith in this relationship? Do you have confidence in him? In yourself? Is he really deserving of you?
If the answer to any of these questions is "no" I think you really need to have a serious talk with him about the future of your relationship. I also think that you need to look inside yourself.
UHHHHHM
An alternative and more specific answer from me would be;
make yourself known on all those flirtatious comments on your boyfriend's page.
Each. And. Every. One.
HAHA.
You could say things like:
"Oh wow. You almost sound like his girlfriend or something. Too bad that spot is already taken by me" (with the optional "bitch" at the end for emphasis)
Or
"Wow that's funny. Aren't there any single guys you can say this to? Or do you make it your mission to be a homewrecking whore?"
Or
"Hi. :)"
You could also write on his comments things like:
"Wow you don't say stuff like that to me."
Or
"If this isn't flirting I want to know where your game was at for real when you were hitting on me."
Or
"I'll remember this wasn't said to me when I see you later."
Make your presence KNOWN. Don't stand for this abuse and don't stay quiet!
Stand up! Stand up for your rights!
Just know this may start some drama, but sometimes drama is needed to make progress so I say go for it.
well put :)
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