. . . I was five seconds away from feeding some asshole's ego, but Samantha told me to, 'Get the FUCK over it'
I'm not being mean. . . just Jazmine.
Not Jak, Jak's too silly and emotional.
I hate to give and give and give and not receive. I also hate cutting people from my life, I really do, but I know when to hold on and when to let go. . . I hate mind fucks and mirror men and china dolls (say little to them don't give them any air to breath in your life they really steal your souls. . . or at least they make me hollow man, voidless-Jak). I realise now that I maybe detrimental in a person life (we can't all be heros someone has to play the villan), I may be a mind fuck, too, I also maybe vibrations in a person's pond, so I've let go. . .
*You told me birds just flock to you. And I'm the queen of the coop. < which is just freakin' mean.
*You told me that you were tired of dating pushy women. < you wrote and said this quite often and just before I left.
*You also wished pregnancy on me. . . you don't remember this. You also don't remember a painting I gave you and you gave me a BP Oil Spill apology attached to an I don't remember.
*You also said you wanted to be inside my mind, but never even asked me a question. . . I felt like I was always asking the questions. < WTF
^ this made me feel like a psycho for 1 month. . . then it snapped I don't give a fuck. Whatever-the fuck. Like a fuck you type a fuck like that poem I wrote 5 yrs ago when I was a teenager type fuck-you. Then I thought there's no point in hating someone, so you're white space (and I don't even know you, really, to hate you.)
I HATE when people talk about other people behind their backs, seriously, even little things. You should be able to talk to your friends about anything even if it hurts. I said, 'don't make it like Africa,' to you . . . but you talked about your friends, then I met them and all I could think about is what you said about them. . . aauughh I hate that ( you said one of his roommates was not the best of dads he said that his daughter called you dad once or something, so just fucking tell him that sheesh. I also couldn't stop wondering what the hell were you saying about me. . . It's like being self concious, who the hell wants to be self concious. . . ?
^this is a mind fuck and a game.
I HATE when people lie ! For fucks sakes if you made a mistake you made a mistake don't be a child about it. All that 'I don't remember' crap is bogus.
But I did wrong too I shouldn't talk to an ex-friend's friends, not that I bad mouthed bc that's gay, but my energy was off. . . and it's like trying to ostracize someone, that's fucked up. I told one of his friend's that she has a "murky aura" in a card, which I meant as conflicted b/c she always had a headache and was angry about some stupid guy, but . . . who the fuck am I? so I'm sorry. Then I wrote her some stupid Jak shit so she would leave me alone something about the government controlling lying on the pigs. Jak-shit is weird when you don't know me so sorry.
And above all I called you evil no one's evil. People are just fucked up, I'm fucked up, too. Let's leave it at that.
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