Thanks to my pregnancy my body has changed a lot this year. Because of that I've had to focus more attention to my clothing; what works with my body, what doesn't, what cuts and looks are flattering, what looks should I avoid like the plague. Funny that my interest in fashion would a peak at a time when it would be a waste to spend a lot of time and money on my wardrobe (I'll have to retire it all soon anyway! No sense getting attached!) But--I really have been thinking a lot about body image and clothing, not just for pregnant women, but all women (sorry guys, your fashion is rarely on my mind).
I guess my interest in this topic started when I started reading maternity material. A lot of the articles and literature I would read said it was normal for women to feel self conscious about their bodies, hate how big they were getting, feel like their bodies were ruined. I thought this was weird because I didn't think those things at all. Watching my belly expand has been one of my favorite things about pregnancy. And I actually like the weight I've gained; my cheeks are fuller, my thighs thicker, and my butt--que sexy! Haha! I am a little peeved about how big my breasts have gotten because all that I can wear comfortably is maternity sports bras (though they are the most comfortable bras I've ever had. So wonderful I think I'm just going to wear sports bras from now on haha). I also am not too thrilled by the extra arm fat I've gained, but not necessarily because of how it looks. I can't really see it so I don't care all that much about it. I just don't like how it feels jiggling when I wash the dishes. It's weird.
Anyway, my point is, I'm just fine with how my body has changed--but there IS one thing that has made me self conscious.
My clothes.
They don't fit.
And now that I'm 32 weeks even my maternity clothes are starting to feel a little snug (I bought this pair of maternity jeans that fit perfectly when my belly first started showing, but now I can't even get them over my thighs--eff you maternity jeans! What good are you!).
Now when I go out I must waste about an hour sulking in my room because none of my favorite outfits fit right and whatever I'm stuck settling on is never my top pick for the night.
However, I never blame my body for not looking right in my clothes, I blame my clothes for not fitting right! This, I realize, is a way of thinking not all people have.
Though not as extreme, this self blaming is not uncommon. I've heard many women (and even more men) degrade their bodies for the sake of their clothes.
Sure their is some media blame to go around. Everyone wants to look like a celebrity and no one ever really does. But let's look at that realistically. Celebs not only have make-up artists, wardrobe personnel, personal trainers, and money to blow on diet pills, plastic surgery, and all that other nonsense--but they also have perfect lighting on set and stage, airbrushing, and digital technology which corrects all their "flaws" before you ever see them on screen or in magazines. You can't ever look like them, because THEY don't even look like that!
Then of course we can blame the fashion industry for putting out clothes that are meant for one specific body type. Skinny jeans = not meant for everyone. Short shorts are not such a good idea for all either. Those baggy midriff shirts that are out now, yeah...not a good look on everyone either (though I have to say that the longer ones tend to be pretty flattering on most body types).
You can blame just about anyone, but honestly that's not going to make you feel better about who you are and what you look like.
The first step about feeling good about your body is to be honest with yourself. Some cuts and trends just won't work with your body type and--hey! That is OKAY!!! Don't freak out over it! I for one love Asian street fashion, for example, but the looks tend to favor leaner less curvy bodies (especially up to) so many of the looks really don't work well for me. Yeah, it sucks when you really like a certain look and it doesn't look right on you, but it sucks even more to buy clothes that make you feel bad.
The most popular trends are not going to always be the ones that look the best on you. Brush up on the differences between styles in shirts, jeans, dresses, and everything else. Learn about what looks best on what body type. You may find that a style you never even considered looks like it was made just for you when you put it on. For example, right around the time I got pregnant I discovered the high waisted pants and skirts were very flattering on my figure because I had a small waist, but was heavy on top and in my butt and hips. Before I tried the look out I laughed at anything with a high waist. I thought it was ridiculous. After I tried the look, wearing anything low at the waist just seemed blah to me. Be open minded!
Don't blame yourself for something not looking good on you. It is NOT your body's fault. I mean, do people have any idea how hard their bodies work for them? Your body works for you 24/7; turning food into energy, allowing you to enjoy five senses, getting you from place to place, uhm...keeping you ALIVE. I think the body deserves just a little more respect than it gets--and clothes that do it justice! Try a different size, a different style, a different cut. Try to figure out what it is that isn't working and avoid picking out other things that have that same problem.
If you love something and you love how you look in it then don't worry about what other people have to say about it. The point of me writing all this is not to get on people for dressing a certain way. If you feel confident in your clothing then do you. I'm only saying this for those who aren't happy when they look in the mirror.
Remember, a self conscious person blames their body for their clothes not looking right--but a confident person blames their clothes for not fitting! Where do you fit in?
Do you look good in your clothes or do your clothes look good on you?
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